1.     Can I get that hundred thousand in ones, please?

Adam “Pacman” Jones took out a full page ad in today’s edition of the Tennessean to apologize to fans for his recent actions and to promise to change his life for the better.  He even promised to establish a fund to provide scholarship money for football walk-ons at WVU. You do have to question his motives for the ad however. I don’t doubt that he’s serious about changing, I’m just wondering whether or not he took out that ad so he’d remember after he wakes up from his coma tomorrow.

2.      And by “The Next Big Thing”, we meant he’ll be great next year.

Sidney Crosby and the Pens were eliminated last night by the Senators in a slightly embarrassing 3-0 shutout loss. It’s not all bad, since Crosby’s first playoff stats (5 games, 3 goals, 2 assists) compare favorably to Gretzky’s first playoff stats (3 games, 2 goals, 1 assists). So all is not lost hockey fans, next year Crosby should finally start to develop into that superstar everyone proclaimed him to be. Until then, the four of you should have a group hug and go grab a Molson, eh?

3.      Oh trust us, we’ve loved that self-righteous prick all along.

A-Rod blasted his second game-winning and 10^th overall homerun last night to beat the Indians 8-6.  At this point, A-Rod is on pace to beat the record for homeruns in April set by Albert Pujols last year by a healthy margin. The story that’s not getting enough attention, however, is Derek Jeter’s reaction to this sudden resurgence. Word has it that he’s heartbroken that A-Rod refused to come spend the night over at his place so the two could watch Melrose’s Place and get things back to the way they were when they were the bestest of buddies.

4.      So once I declare, I can tell everyone I’m 43?   continue >>