So you’ve figured out how to open a web browser and now you’re ready to waste countless hours of your life on the internet.  Welcome to the future!

And what do you do, now that you can whittle away your free time not being productive in the least?  Well, there are several options.  You could talk to other people via some instant messenger service, you could throw your money into the bottomless sewer that is eBay, or indulge your love of some demented fetish.

Television is a thing of the past: at best it’s a medium on which to play console video games, and at worst, it’s another flat surface to put your empty alcohol bottles on for display purposes.  So, Youtube, a flash based website that contains all of the world’s audio-visual knowledge, has conquered TV by becoming one of the single most powerful franchises on the internet, rubbing shoulders with such greats as Facebook, MySpace, 4chan, and CollegeWeb.

YouTube is something of a social phenomenon, connecting the youth in ways previously unimagined. And I’m here to guide you through that experience.  Even if you’ve been to the site before and consider yourself something of a connoisseur, take the time to review these steps.  A refresher never hurts, after all.

Here’s the four main categories of videos: 

1) Overnight Sensations

These videos are the ones that everyone talks about and/or quotes incessantly for several weeks after they debut, usually because they’re so hilarious, outrageous or original.  It’s recommended that you brush up on what’s hot from time to time, by checking the most viewed or most commented on videos, because how embarrassing would it be to have just seen “Numa Numa” when all your friends and co-workers are up to David Blaine Street Magic?  These videos are inextricably woven into the social fabric, as most conversations during class or work begin with “Have you seen…”  Being the first one in your group of friends to discover an Overnight Sensation is not only a rewarding experience, but will boost your popularity for the duration of the video’s run.

Examples: Shoes, David Blaine Street Magic, Charlie the Unicorn, Leave Britney Alone

2) Cats and other Adorable Animals

Videos of cats doing cute or silly things are quite possibly the quintessential YouTube content.  These are far more dangerous than the aforementioned Overnight Sensations because of their habit forming properties, which are only aggravated by the “Related Videos” tab on the side of the screen.  Before long, you may find that you need to log onto YouTube in order to see what your favorite calico Scottish fold kitten is up to.  Videos of other animals, such as puppies, ferrets, turtles, etc. may be substituted in, but these have been proven to not be quite as potent as cats.   continue >>