It has been a long-standing tradition in Western culture that women, when confronted by a man bearing a large string instrument, will swoon without fail.  From the romantic portrayals of moonlit serenades on the lute to the soulful crooning of a college band frontman playing at a local café, musicians have been wooing the ladies for centuries.  However, lately it seems that the ability to play guitar has been removed from the equation, and merely having one in your possession automatically marks you as date material.

First of all, we should probably distinguish between the two very different types of guitars: acoustic and electric. Due to the type of music associated with each, girls will seek out the guy for differing reasons.  Women who prefer a guy armed with an acoustic guitar claim that the person appears to be “very sensitive.”  This is not particularly surprising, as non-electric guitars are utilized in types of music such as emo, which we all know presents the male in a non-threatening, submissive light.  Acoustic guitars appear to be ubiquitous on college campuses; it is a rare sight to walk into a male student’s room and not find a tan six-string lying somewhere conspicuously in plain view.  According to the film Stranger Than Fiction, however, owning such an instrument displays that the person is sensitive, but has no idea how to play guitar.

On the other hand, electric guitars, more common in the world of metal and rock, are not only harsher sounding, but much louder than their unplugged counterparts.  Since a lot of people probably do not have much experience with electric guitars outside of the wildly popular Guitar Hero game (which does not mean that you know how to play…but that is a rant for another day), I will assure you right now that playing any sort of electric instrument sans amp is not only ineffective but also pretty stupid. While I have always been of the opinion that these instruments represent rebellion, a friend of mine (who wishes to remain anonymous for unknown reasons) claims that she likes electric guitars because the vibrations make her want to have sex.  I don’t know about you, but I find it difficult to argue with that.  I have also noticed that guys dedicated to electric guitars seem to be more interested in music than appearances (though I am certain that this has a great deal to do with the prohibitive cost versus the relatively cheaper acoustics). While perhaps not masters of music theory, the guy tuning his Les Paul can most likely decipher tabs.

Curious as to the real versus perceived popularity of guitars, I conducted a survey with a random sampling of girls from my classes.  Out of the thirty girls I asked, eleven responded that they indeed find guitars sexy—eight of them preferred acoustic and three electric.  Three responded that they did not really care one way or another; one girl responded that she hated guitar players, and fifteen stared at me blankly.   continue >>