| by Mike Fenn | 5/01/07 | 74 views | When "Final Destination 3," the latest (and apparently last) entry in the thriller series, was released early last year, I was a few months away from turning 26. Thus, one would be led to believe that my ability to become frightened of a movie would be severely lessened.
Sadly, this was not the case.
For those of you who are unaware or who patronized better movies around that time, I'll give a brief recap. Having nothing whatsoever to do with its predecessors save for the title, "Final Destination 3" opens with a horrid roller coaster accident that sent several soon-to-be high school graduates to that big summer kegger in the sky. However, the crash did not rid the Earth of as many students as it would have liked to, thanks to a premonition by one of the coaster's riders. Seeing the crash happen in her mind while aboard the train, high school senior Wendy Christensen freaks out and convinces the attendant to let her and several of the movie's principal characters off the ride. As time passes, those who escaped death that night are systematically and cleverly killed one by one, leading Wendy and a few other main characters to the conclusion that death is not a force to be reckoned with. In short, EVERYONE on that train that night was SCHEDULED to die, and since they failed to do so, they were subject to a series of rather graphic demises later on in the film.
I'll be honest: "Final Destination 3" scared the holy hell out of me. However, the obvious "scary" aspects were not those that managed to induce my fear. For instance, I suppose that I was supposed to fear roller coasters after seeing this flick. Rather, I actually looked forward to the impending summer season, in the hopes that gullible young people everywhere would THEMSELVES douse their drawers at the sight of any amusement ride more dangerous than a Tilt-a-Whirl and thus not form massive lines through local amusement park queues.
No, what terrified me the most were the following three aspects of the movie:
1. The cemetary
Early on in the film, Wendy visits the grave marker of her boyfriend, who was one of the aforementioned roller coaster's last riders. A shot of the gravestone reveals that his date of birth was 1988.
Needless to say, I thought this was a clear mistake, as I was born in 1980 yet I still remember high school as if it were yesterday. People born in 1988 CAN'T be in high school.
Then I did the math.
In 2006, those born in 1988 were either 17 or 18 years old, placing them in an age category not only appropriate for high school, but appropriate for high school GRADUATION.
This can't be! Sure, I may currently be 26 years of age, and, despite the fact that my age can mathematically round up to...gulp...THIRTY, I'm not so old that people born eight years after me can be GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL... continue >>
     
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University of Delaware
