(Cheap shot, I know. Sue me.)

And nowhere is this stage of life more prevalent than in food.  As someone who has decided to put off pointless, boring stuff like maturing for at least another few decades or so, I’ve found that my food choices and overall eating habits are somewhat of a rarity amongst my fellow late twenty-somethings.  I’m still eating…and viewing eating…as I did whilst in high school and college.  Readers, I am telling you right now that you are in the BEST YEARS OF YOUR EATING LIFE.  Seriously. Take advantage of it while you still can. 

When we are of normal high school and college age, we can essentially eat anything we feel like. We can eat whatever we want…however much of it we want…and whenever we wish to do so.  You (and, for that matter, I) are at a stage in life where “eating out” can still include anything from a trip to Burger King to scarfing down grease-soaked pizza slices at some stuffy pizza joint.  To us, “fine dining” means Denny’s, Friendly’s, and wherever your parents took you for graduation dinner.  Otherwise, we enjoy a steady diet whose inclusion of:

--Instant ramen noodles

--Some-meat-product-fried rice served in a 3D cardboard trapezoid from a grimy Chinese takeout place with a name like “King Dragon Buffet.”

--Junk food purchased during a 2AM convenience store run that you decided to go on at 1:55

…is all perfectly acceptable.

But once you hit adulthood, this all comes to a grinding halt.  All of a sudden, food goes from a necessity to some sort of foreign, potentially dangerous, alien life form that people approach with higher caution than they would a rabid dog.  Sugar, fat, sodium, cholesterol, MSG, and virtually every other food ingredient find themselves scrutinized by consumers.  No longer will you fly through the aisles at the supermarket, dropping stuff into your cart because it has a cool picture on the front of the box. Now, your time there will quadruple, as you stand in the middle of every aisle (probably when I’m trying to get through, you ignorant bastards) and strain your eyes to read each line of that black-and-white “Nutritional Facts” chart on every last item.  Nothing will ever be good enough, and you’ll ultimately settle on a lifelong diet of low-fat rice cakes and diet water.  Meanwhile, yours truly will chow down on bacon cheeseburgers once a week.  Sure, I’ll die from a heart explosion before I hit the half-century mark, but at least I’ll go knowing what bacon tasted like.   continue >>