| by Diana Gialo | 11/11/08 | 94 views |
Many college students living both on and off campus share living spaces with non-family members, typically friends or fellow students. In most cases, these living spaces are small apartments, townhouses, or crammed, overcrowded, and overpopulated local homes. Naturally, living in small and crammed spaces can lead to a more clear and concise view of the people or person you are sharing your home with. That is why many friendships and relationships that take the plunge into co-habitation end in well, divergent situations than they once may have imagined.
Here is a brief and general breakdown of the typical college roommate, and thus, the typical pain in the butt that lives only feet away from you and your bed.
1. The Lame-O: While this classification may be seen as cliché to some, it is, I would say, the most common and somewhat most irritating roommate there is. This roommate likes routine. Plan deviation is definitely a no-no, which unfortunately leads to a household void of spontaneity. Think about it…there was no school this past Tuesday for Election Day, right? So, say one of your roommates thinks, “Hey, let’s have a party tonight!” There is always that one voice of reason around to say, “No, no guys, tomorrow is a Tuesday, and Tuesday mornings I always go to the gym. Now if I cannot sleep tonight because you guys are being too loud, I won’t be able to go to the gym, and we can’t have that.” Tell me this roommate doesn’t suck…
2. The Party Animal: Yeah, yeah, I understand that I totally just blew up the Lame roommate’s loser status, and criticizing the really fun roommate may be hypocritical, but listen, why can’t there be an easy medium? Don’t get me wrong, the Party Animal roommate can be totally awesome at times, but there are those hellish nights when some beg for a lame roommate just because the crazy roommate is really overdoing it. It is 10 AM, you just woke up, (1) it is a Saturday and way too early to be awake, (2) you have a pounding headache that is basically at earthquake status, and (3) you are so thirsty that your tongue is literally glued to the roof of your mouth. Now, at 10 AM, when you apparently feel like death, what is the worst possible thing to wake up to? A huge, slippery, wet stain right outside of your door and the permeating smell of piss and vomit sound about right? This roommate is happily sleeping in his/her room while you struggle to alleviate this mess of bodily secretions and agonizing odor.
3. The Mooch: Yea, I said it, the Mooch. Now, everyone agrees that there is a house mooch. The problem is finding out who the house mooch is and how you can put an end to his/her evil ways. The tricky situation that revolves around finding the culprit is generally mooches do not openly chat about their mooch-ish ways, and in many cases, they deny that they have even a trace of mooch in their being. I mean, can you blame them? Who honestly wants to admit that they are a mooch or come to a self-realization that you clearly take and use everyone’s stuff without asking. This is why there is a lot of skill and planning in finding and catching an MIA: Mooch In Action. Here is my advice for you mooch-catchers out there. Plan something. Anything. One day, say to the mooch, “Okay we are going to go on a liquor run--we’ll be gone for a half hour.” (1) The mooch claims they don’t feel like drinking and did not spot any coin for the liquor, and (2) a half hour leaves the mooch just enough time to use something of someone else’s. Then conveniently come home after about fifteen minutes and catch them in action. You know they are guilty when as soon as you open the door, the mooch yells down, “Hello, anyone home, who is that?” Then you run upstairs, hold out your hand, and point at them saying, “Gotcha, you are a mooch!” Those shenanigans will never happen again….or if anything; you have about a week until they start using your stuff again.
4. The Awesome Roommate: With all of the potentially bad roommate qualities, there has to be some sort of redemption in living with other people. This is where the redeeming factor, called the down-to-earth, totally chill, and awesome roommate shines. They are the house’s Buddha that manages to keep everyone somewhat calm. If you don’t have one of these, I suggest you get one or move-out, because your living situation is clearly a dysfunctional one. I feel sorry for you.
Realistically, everyone wants to be roommate number 4, but really, a whopping 5 out of 6 people reading this article are most likely roommate numbers 1, 2 or 3. Honestly, look at the room you are sitting in, the food you are eating, the shirt you are wearing, or the computer you are currently using…maybe you are the MIA. Think about it.
     
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University of Delaware
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