|
|
|
by BBlank
posted 10/28/07
send message | Ever overhear a conversation while at the dining hall, walking to class, at a party etc. and think, damn that is some funny shit??? I do it all the time, and now I have compiled them into this. Feel free to share your own too!
Random UD Student Quotes
“The gravity! It’s everywhere!” – Stoned kid.
“Why is it so hard to draw Jesus?” – Overheard a china man saying it while walking to class.
“Ew, pomegranate? I don’t like cheese.” – Some dumb ho.
“Oh my God. Put a fucking leash on your slut!” – Another dumb ho.
Friend #1: “My hamster had a house that it didn’t really use so I gave it to my brother’s hamster and the next day my hamster died from wet tail and then my brother’s hamster died 3 days later, isn’t that sad?”
Friend #2: "I can think of sadder, I mean there was a genocide in Rwanda not too long ago..."
“All I want to do is S his D!” – Big burly black man. I think he might be gay though.
| |
| |
|
|
|
by jessbeas
posted 10/29/07
tired
send message | "Yeah, I hate her and she's in my English class. Guess I'll have to drop it" - yet another dumb ho
| |
| |
|
|
|
by BBlank
posted 10/29/07
send message | "I'm not taking you to the hospital because then you won't learn anything." --Roomate. | |
| |
|
|
|
by retrofrenologist
posted 10/30/07
comatose
send message | haha! speaking of hospitals... it's not a quote, but it's still funny.
so my friend came down to visit me for the weekend, and he was sleeping on the couch in our dorm. well, the dumbfuck went and scratched his cornea, which REALLY hurts. he let it go for a day or so, but when the pain didn't stop, he decided to drink the pain away! so he's shit-faced, and still in pain, and finally we have to drive him to the hospital on monday morning (my roommate missed an exam), where they explain to him that he's a moron and needs to go to a specialist right away before he goes blind. oh, and that they can't give him anything for the pain because he's still shit-faced (meds that he took anyway, which made him puke the whole way home).
now tell me, bblank, does that deserve a - "I'm not taking you to the hospital because then you won't learn anything." - response?
|
"http://xkcd.com"
| |
|
|
|
by jessbeas
posted 10/30/07
tired
send message | Definitely.
Nevermind that I'm not Beth and you didn't ask me. I did some damage to my eyes over the summer by keeping two week contacts in for several months. I had to do meds and crap all summer long and I'm still in my glasses until I can get new contacts.
On topic:
"Why is this woman's ass hanging out on the cover of this book?" -student
"You can ask the author when he comes to the school" -prof.
"It looks like she's giving that guy head" -student
"What guy?" -prof.
"The guy who looks like he's receiving head" -student
| |
| |
|
|
|
by retrofrenologist
posted 10/30/07
comatose
send message | Prof: Sperm actually contains a lot of sugar.
Girl: So why does it taste so bitter?
**Sniggers. Girl realizes what she said, turns bright red**
Prof: Because the back of your throat is where the bitter receptors are.
**Girl runs from room crying**
|
"http://xkcd.com"
| |
|
|
|
by BBlank
posted 10/30/07
send message | Haha wow, retro. Certainly ot the smartest thing I've heard someone do, but I guess I would have taken him to the hospital too. I mean I'm sure he must have learned his lesson once he started puking and his eye was going blind. | |
| |
|
|
|
by Dude
posted 10/30/07
send message | | Prof: Sperm actually contains a lot of sugar.
Girl: So why does it taste so bitter?
**Sniggers. Girl realizes what she said, turns bright red**
Prof: Because the back of your throat is where the bitter receptors are.
**Girl runs from room crying**
|
I think that one might win. What class was this in? I want to go congratulate the Prof.
| |
| |
|
|
|
by retrofrenologist
posted 10/31/07
comatose
send message | I sat in on my friend's sexual psychology class at Drexel. I couldn't stop laughing for the rest of the class...
|
"http://xkcd.com"
| |
|
|
|
by Dude
posted 10/31/07
send message | | I sat in on my friend's sexual psychology class at Drexel. I couldn't stop laughing for the rest of the class...
|
I have only one thing to say...
That girl got pwnd.
| |
| |
|
|
|
by jessbeas
posted 10/31/07
tired
send message | At least she wasn't a guy. That might've been worse.
| |
| |
|
|
|
by retrofrenologist
posted 11/01/07
comatose
send message | Names changed for privacy... but yea, real story.
Friend: "Ben thought he could play Jeremy for rum, and Jeremy thought he could play Ben for sex... turns out they were both right."
Me: "Ben's gay?"
Friend: "Well, he is now!"
|
"http://xkcd.com"
| |
|
|
|
by jessbeas
posted 11/02/07
tired
send message | That is a pretty awesome way to be outed. Another would be the whole "cootie catcher-surprise he's gay!" tactic i read about in Punch n' Pie
| |
| |
|
|
|
by Dude
posted 11/09/07
send message | There's always my favorite method of condescendingly dismissing something you don't feel like talking about:
"Nah, I'm not really into pokemon..." followed by a properly executed what-huh.
Allow me to demonstrate:
Douche: "Did you watch the eagles last night?"
Me: "Nah, I"m not really into pokemon"
*Pause*
Douche: "... what?"
Me: "Huh?"
| |
| |
|
|
|
by jason
posted 11/09/07
send message | |
"Nah, I'm not really into pokemon..." followed by a properly executed what-huh.
|
im definitely going to have to steal this one.
| |
| |
|
|
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
University of Delaware
